Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
