my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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