Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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