he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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