There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize