I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
