I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i think we sleep fucked last night...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
