The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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