This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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