i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
