I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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