I can tuck mytits in my pants
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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