I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
