dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize