I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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