the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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