The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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