see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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