Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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