that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
