Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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