theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
