I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
