What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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