Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
