her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Little spoons don't ask big questions
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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