i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize