Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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