Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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