it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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