i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
