My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
love makes seman taste better
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
