Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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