If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
