Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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