I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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