I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Couch. On fire.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
