I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
