Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
