you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the night ended with taco bell and tears
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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