Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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