we're blogging at a bar
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
