I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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