I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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