Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
