So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
