i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
