He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
