we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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