Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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