shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
