do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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