Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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