she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
