the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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