so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
