today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
