I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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